Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.

~Robert Schuller

What we thought would be a very hard decision, was really quite easy in the end. After a lot of soul searching, thought, and research, we decided it was time to part ways with our agency and continue on with our dream of adoption with the help of another agency. Simply stated, we had gotten to a point in our journey where the trust, joy, and excitement we had in our hearts when we began this dream was fading. It was a sign that things needed to change.

We have already selected the new agency, sent our documents, and the transfer process has begun. The staff at the new agency has been nothing short of amazing. They have been quick to help us with our paperwork, answer any questions, and reassure us that this adoption will conclude with the "happy ending" we have been anticipating.

We are not sure of an exact timeline, but the agency seems to be moving along quite nicely with referrals and we feel that it's actually possible to complete this adoption sooner than if we hadn't made the switch. I guess we'll never know, but we feel 110% confident in our choice.

We know that there may be more bumps in the road, but we feel renewed, excited, and prepared to handle whatever comes to us!

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Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale

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showers of love

Well, I'm recovering from a busy weekend. My baby shower was yesterday. I was so bitter-sweet about having it without our referral but I'm so glad I did. It was amazing. We are truly blessed to have so many encouraging friends and family members. We got oodles and oodles of things for Ella. I'm a bit stumped on where everything is going to go...Miss E's room is VERY small and her closet is mine (aka...she has no closet). hmmm, some creative arranging is in order. Here are some shots of the day:

Everyone took home a "lucky" bamboo plant
My niece Alicyn helped me open Ella's gifts
The whole group!
Ella's goodies!
Stroller from Ed's parents with coordinating quilt from my momAnd...it wouldn't be complete without giving the dog a ride in the stroller...with her disgusting bone hanging out of her mouth no less!

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.
~Author Unknown

stay tuned...

a little update...

Well, it's up one moment and down the next. Overall, we have seen a few glimmers of hope in the past few days. We still aren't 100% sure on everything and we are waiting for more questions to be answered, but we've decided to hang tight for a least a few more weeks before we re investigate our options.

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep busy by preparing to go back to school :( I'm not totally prepared for the questions, but once I get over that hump, I know the year will be good...an hopefully exciting (I'm still hoping to have Ella home this "school" year which means a 12 week leave for me)! I've also decided to be happy about my baby shower this weekend. I have had very mixed emotions about it, but I felt it would be very selfish to cancel it and since we will have Ella when the time is right, it is time to celebrate what is to come.

Thank you again SO much for the words of encouragement. I found myself rereading the comments over and over again. I even called my mom and said "you have to log on to read the comments...these people are amazing", she agreed! So thank you! I may need a few more down the road if you don't mind :)

I hope all is well with everyone! Thanks again!

Is it possible...

for things to go from really bad to worse? I am here to say yeah, unfortunately, it is possible. Without going into too much detail at this point. Things are looking a little a bit unsettled right now and we are again facing the decision of staying with our agency or switching and being put to the bottom of another agency's list. That's a hard pill to swallow right now since we have been in this journey for 10 months already and we could easily be looking at another year if we do go ahead and switch. We're hoping to make some headway with making a decision this week.

Thank you so much for all of the amazing comments, prayers, and words of encouragement. In this time of making such a huge decision, it's so heartwarming to know there are so many people out there backing us up!

Do not fear, this really sucks, but we WILL get through this and our blog will be a happy place again :) I promise!

Have you ever felt...

like the wind has been knocked out of you? We found out yesterday that we won't be getting our referral until (at least) mid-late October. We have been told that a lot of these delays are stemming from the ordeal of our agency switching provinces and now they want to wait the standard 90 days before giving a referral of an abandoned baby. The bright side - the email said they had at least two newborn girls that would be available...so assuming things don't drastically change, one of them will be ours. ahhhhh...the saga continues.

I'm not feeling much like a baby shower these days...maybe things will look up by then.

DTV - Take 5

(months)

~The DIA officials are BACK from their vacation!~

I was enjoying a Dove chocolate yesterday and as you may know, the the inside of the foil wrapper always has a little message.

Honest to God, this was my message...

If only the makers of Dove knew what it was like adopting a baby! ;-)

a new look...a new day

See what nervous energy does to me? When I get anxious...I clean or rearrange furniture, needless to say that after yesterday, my house is pretty darn clean (the furniture hasn't moved...yet). So, I decided to put my energy into the blog again. Thanks to my brother, JD, who worked me through my nervous energy late last night to come up with our new header. Cute hey? I'm sure he's not going to be happy to read this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that now that I know how to change all of the html codes myself, this may be happening more often...I guess I need my own copy of photoshop!

Thanks so much for all of the words of encouragement yesterday! Sometimes the comments are what gets me through the day.

I'll close with a quote that was on the front of a card given to my by Ed's sister.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly."

Richard Bach

I hope it doesn't come to this...

So today...not such a good day. We have our ups and downs and although I don't shed many tears, I'm just terribly frustrated. Perhaps it's because I see dozens of families getting their referrals and travel dates and as excited as I TRULY am for everyone, it still hurts a little bit. When we first signed on, we were told we'd likely be traveling by July! July has come and gone and we have yet to see a referral. Back in February I got the urge to switch agencies, but after talking it out, we decided to sit tight because that was "our plan" and Ella was meant to be ours...wherever and whenever! Well, I know that the grass is always greener, but I can't help wonder that if we had in deed switched agencies...would we be home with Ella now? Once again, I'm having to remind myself that this is all happening for a reason. I just wish I knew what the darn reason was!

I go back to work in three+ weeks and I'm seriously considering this as my way to ward off questions! I just can't imagine going back without a picture!

(adoption mama)

Referral or not, here we come!

The shower is planned and the invitations are out. Am I nervous about getting our referral in time? - you betcha, but I know that we WILL have our baby girl when the time is right, so we decided to have the shower anyway!

I mentioned in a previous post that we had awesome shower invitations in the works. Good friends of my brother recently decided to start their own business, "Modern Expressions", after creating beautiful announcements for their own daughters. We obviously aren't ready for a baby announcement, but we got to thinking that perhaps he could help us out with a Vietnam-specific shower invitation instead. I suggested a few things that I thought would be cool and he went to town! Here is the invitation! (location and RSVP info was taken off -that's why there is a big blank spot at the bottom).

If you are interested in a really unique or country-specific announcement or invitation, I would highly recommend talking to Brian! He's been wonderful to work with and they have great prices! His email is brian@modern-exp.com.

Here are a few other designs that he has created:

Happy Anniversary Eddie!

Well, it's official. This time 5 years ago Ed and I were waking up on the morning of our wedding. I can't believe it's already been 5 years, although, I feel like we've been together FOREVER (we kind of have...we started dating when we were 16)! Thanks for being such a wonderful husband. I can't wait until you are a daddy!

Also, thanks to all of you faithful margarita drinkers! I appreciate the comments of encouragement and the offers to grab a drink together! Cheers to upcoming referrals!

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Today is my LAST day of summer school! YAY! I can say goodbye to my 90 degree UNairconditioned room with no windows!

Vacations aren't such a treat!

Well, apparently August is the month to vacation out of Vietnam! We've been told that several of the "key officials" at the Dept. of International Adoptions (DIA) are on vacation (in the US)until the end of next week AND a few of the officials from our province are on vacation too. Now, everyone deserves a vacation...I get that. What I don't get is how adoptions can basically be put on hold until these people get back! Seriously, don't they have a better system?!?!

So, it's looking like another few weeks for us. Still praying for a referral before I have to go back to work for fall on Aug. 30th. I just can't bring myself to say "no news yet" when I see all of my co-workers again!

I think I need a margarita (and I rarely drink)!