Keep on keeping on...

I am not going to delve too much into the current war being waged online right now regarding adoptions. I have a little to say, but overall, I think enough has been said about the current issues. Opinions have been formed, sad and distasteful comments have been made, and innocent people have gotten attacked. What I would like to take a moment to say is that we need to focusing on the facts. I will not buy in to rumors. I will not be persuaded to feel or think differently. I will not be scared by what others write.

What I will do is stand my ground to say this...the rumors regarding people, babies, agencies, blogs, fast referrals, NOIDs, the Embassy...and the list goes on...must STOP. Just when you feel you have a cohesive community all fighting for the same thing, ethical-legal-successful adoptions, you get slammed by someone (or recently, many people) who feel their adoption is far more superior because they chose the "right" agency, they "did" their homework, they "got the facts". Yet the people using other agencies didn't think to do that??? Seriously people. There are also those who feel their adoptions are far more legitimate because the adoption was cleared by the US Embassy. For those who feel this way, fine. I'm not going to try to change your mind. I won't call you stupid or uninformed...but I wish you wouldn't do it others either. There is so much more to "the story" than what we are able to glean from a blog, website, or a yahoo group.

I'm sorry folks, but we were with one of those agencies that flew under the radar. It took a long time to find out what was actually going on. Nothing was publicly posted, people weren't attacking me for choosing that agency, some people hadn't even heard of the agency (and yes, they were licensed)...yet they were still unethical. So just because an agency hasn't been under the microscope or publicly dragged through the mud, does that mean it's all kosher? I'll let you be the judge. For what it's worth, I would also like to say is that when I became concerned about the ethics regarding that agency, I DID email USCIS to bring it to their attention...their response. Nothing. I didn't even get a reply. Yet they found the time to send an official news release to a personal blog before posting it on their own gov't website. Needless to say,I've been left with a fairly tainted image of what is really going on behind the closed gates of our government.

One other thing. While reading a few blogs lately, I've become really sad about the future of adoptions and the future of our children (home and abroad). What are we teaching our children? That it's alright to perpetuate a rumor. That it's okay to criticize and attack perfect strangers. That it's okay to not have the facts and yet pretend you do. That it's okay to tell other people they are immoral, unethical, or uneducated because they made a decision different than yours. I'm sorry...I don't think that's okay.

There has been massive uprising of personal warnings out to people that they shouldn't even think of going with an agency that works in the two named "problem" provinces. Let the people make their own decisions. They have done their homework...they aren't looking to you for their answers. Just think...if all agencies pull out of the "problem" provinces...what happens to those babies? The ones that are legitimate orphans. They are left behind to become part of a statistic. They will be one of the 2 million children growing up in an orphanage someplace in Vietnam. They will be left behind because they have the misfortune of living at the wrong place at the wrong time.

So what is the "right" choice?